The Smoking Peanut
by DarthFlores
Summary: Au! Voldemort doesn't exist! Harry, Ron, and Hermione go to Bitain's Magical Zoo for Fantastic Beasts on their annual free day. But while there Harry does something to upsetone of the beasts and everything goes wrong! With special guest star with our favorite dragon species from How to Train your Dragon, the Night Fury. No pairings, One shot!


**Note I don't own Harry Potter, all rights go to J.K. Rowling. Nor do I own Spongebob, those rights go to Stephen Hillenburg. Nor do I own How to Train your Dragon, those rights go to Cressida Cowell  
**

 **So I was going to do another one shot, but then I had this crazy idea of what happens if Voldemort didn't exist, and the magical world had it's own zoo. So I drew inspiration from one of my favorite shows so I can write this one shot. So for those of you who watch Spongebob then you might love this one, if not then I hope you'll find something from it. So let us begin.**

Today was July 5th, 1997. Our young lad Harry Potter was at Britain's Magical Zoo for Fantastic Beasts with his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Today was their annual free day at the zoo, and by free day, it meant admission is free.

Harry and Ron were right now at the Yeti exhibit while Hermione was at the loo. It was one of the more larger exhibits in the zoo as well as one of the coldest do to Yetis needing cold.

"Wow! I never knew how beautiful these Yeti's looked like up close." stated Ron as he looked at the yeti in his enclosure. The Yeti was around 15 feet tall, had white fur, and looked ape like.

"Ron did you know that yeti's are considered one of the most dangerous creatures ever?" asked Harry. Ron nodded. "It's amazing they were able to capture it, it looks so majestic."

Just then Draco Malfoy walked in.

"Hello Potter and Weasley, on a date?" asked Draco.

"Shut up you git." snapped Ron.

"What the hell Ron, I just came all the way from my manor over here to talk to you." said Draco. "Why do you gotta be so mean to me."

"I'm sorry." muttered Ron.

Draco then said "Well I wouldn't want to disturb you losers on your date. I gotta to go to the gift shop."

"Yeah well your a dork!" yelled Ron as Draco was walking away.

Just then Hermione came in.

"Hey guys, can we go see the Nundu?" aksed hermione "Please."

"Alright then come on." said Harry.

When they made it into the Nundu enclosure they found the feline sleeping. The Nundu enclosure was also big, but not that big as it did have a great view of the feline.

"Well that's boring." commented Ron.

"Oh come on Ron, animals have to rest." said Hermione. "Well what do you suppose we do then."

"I say we go over there." Harry said pointing to a stadium. "There it is, Night Fury stadium, home to the most mysterious and the most dangerous Fantastic Beast to have ever been found."

"Even more dangerous then the Nundu?" asked Ron.

"Especially more dangerous then the Nundu." said Harry. "But us wizards didn't let a dragon like that Night Fury beat us, we tamed it and up to this day, Claire the Night Fury still continues to be the only dragon ever tamed."

"Wow, that sounds like fun to watch, but why is she in a stadium?" asked Hermione.

"Because Hermione, not only is Claire the most mysterious Beast here, but she can also do tricks!" said Harry. Harry then did his announcer voice "She spits a her large pearl hundreds of feet in the air! Like a canon ball!"

"Waite why does she have a pearl?" asked Ron.

"She has two, one of them was a gift from the zoo employees, the other is unknown!" said Harry. "Anyways guys, it's super fun, I saw it once when I was 12, and it blew my mind.'

"Well then what are we waiting here for?! Let's get over there!" said Hermione.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione then ran to the stadium.

"This is the greatest day of our lives!" Harry, Ron, and Hermione said in unison.

When they got there, they saw Claire snoring. Claire had dark, scaley skin, large wings, a cat like face, and was pretty large. Bigger then a lion. And she acts like said cat because she was sleeping, weird for a dragon to do that.

"This is the greatest day of our lives? Boring!" said Ron.

"Your right Ron, we came to see pearls 100 hundred feet in the air. I'll try my Dragon call." said harry.

Harry then started to make strange noises, but gave up because the Dragon was sleeping.

"Well, I'm outta here. Thanks for nothin', Harry" said Ron.

"I'll go with him." said Hermione.

Harry then looked at the sleeping Dragon.

"Come on, come on, Wake up already!" Harry then pulled out his bag of peanuts. H e then looked around and threw one at the Dragon. Soon enough Claire began to stir. "I think it's working." What Harry didn't notice was that Claire was looking frantically around. "Hey guys it's waking up!"

Ron and Hermione then ran in "Oh boy did we miss anything?"

"No, the shows about to begin!" said Harry.

Claire then suddenly cries at the top of her lungs, her voice so powerful it sent Harry, Ron, and Hermione to the seats. Claire then started to trashing her enclosure. Two employees came running into the arena.

One of the workers named Bob said "What's wrong with Claire?"

Another one named Joe went up to her "Easy girl, it's me, Joe! Remember?"

Claire then snarls at Joe and grabs him with her tale and throws Joe out of the stadium. Harry heard an 'I'm okay' coming from Joe.

Bob then went up to then and said "You three need to get out of the area pronto! There's nothing more dangerous then an emotionally disturbed Dragon!" Bob then looked at Harry "You didn't do anything that might have upset Claire did you?"

"Ugh..." started Harry.

"NO WAY! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant." said Ron "Right Harry."

Harry then hid his peanut bag. "Right."

Later that day Ron and Hermione were walking with Harry in Godric's Hallow.

"Man if I ever see that guy who upset Claire, I've got a few words for him. like 'YOU'... and 'ARE'... and... 'A JERK' !" said Ron.

They were then outside the potter residence.

"Are you sure you didn't see anything suspicious Harry?" asked Hermione.

"I already said I didn't, guys! Sheesh!" said Harry

Harry then walks up to his house.

"Hey, let's investigate this crime and catch the lowlife who's responsible!" recommended Ron.

"Give it a rest, Ron! There's no crime to investigate! Now go home!" Harry then went inside his home.

The Potter residence in Godric's hallow was a lovely home for the Potter family. It looked like a nice home for a family. Right now though Harry was in the living room.

"Harry is that you?" asked his mother,Lily, from the kitchen.

"Yes mum." said Harry. He then walked in the kitchen and asked "What's for dinner?"

"Pasta, now come sit." replied Lily.

Harry then noticed that his two sisters, Evelyn and Rose were sitting on the table. Evelyn, Eve for short, was a year younger then Harry, being 15, had jet black hair, brown eyes, and was considered one of the more pretty girls at school. Eve was also going into her 6th year at Hogwarts with Ron's younger sister Ginny, her best friend. Rose was around 12 years old, had green eyes and Auborn hair, so it was safe to assume that she looked like Lily the most.

"Hi Harry how was your trip to the zoo?" asked Eve.

"Oh it was fine, but one of the animals got his feelings hurt." said Harry.

"Which animal got it's feelings hurt?" asked Rose. Rose had a huge liking for magical animals, so anytime she heard an animal getting hurt, she always felt bad. She got this loving animal trait from Lily.

'Oh it's no big deal Rosy." said Harry. He then looked around and realized his Dad wasn't home yet. "Wheres Dad.'

"He had a meeting at the Auror office with Sirius, he'll be home late." said Lily.

After Dinner, Harry was getting ready for bed. When he was pondering on his bed he was now a little worried.

"Hoot." said Hedwig, his snowy Owl sitting on her porch

"Oh it's just nothing Hedwig." said harry.

"Hoot!"

"Sigh, it's just stupid Ron and Hermione, they know I didn't do anything wrong." said Harry. "Ah what am I getting worked up for? i'm sure by tomorrow, this whole ugly mess will be a funny story!" Harry then yawned "Good night Hedwig."

 **HPHPHP**

Harry woke up today and went down to the kitchen. When he got there he saw his little sister Rose crying while Lily was comforting her.

"it's okay Rosy, I'm sure Claire will be fine." said Lily.

"What's going on?" asked Harry.

"What's on the Daily profit is whats going on." said Harry's father, James. James then proceeded to read off the daily profit "Our top story: Famous Night Fury has it's feelings hurt! The only clue that could be found was a lone peanut! and as of now, the Dragon continues to emit its horrible cry. A cry so powerful that not only breaks the heart of the animals there, not only breaks the staff members hearts, but it breaks the hearts of the zoo patrons. See page 4 for the interviews on the staff members and zoo patrons."

"What kind of cruel, careless, evil person would deliberately upset on of God's most gentle creatures." asked Rose, still crying in her mothers arms.

"When I find that guy, I'll rip him to shreds." said Eve.

"I'll help you with that." said James.

"Harry you were there Yesturday, do you know anything that might have happened ?" asked Lily.

"No, how would I know anything about what happened to the Dragon!" snapped Harry.

"Why are you being defensive." asked James.

"Defensive? I'm not being defensive! God! What is this, Twenty questions or something ?" Harry then ran up stairs. When he got there Hedwig made a hoot and startled Harry. " Oh It's just you Hedwig. Oh this is getting a little out of hand, Hedwig. All I just did was throw a peanut. I didn't mean to make the Dragon cry. I just wanted to see her perform spectacular stunts! Aw, everyone is gonna hate me, Hedwig! I need some advice! Now let's see, who could never hate me no matter what I do?"

"Hoot."

"That's right Hedwig, I'll just go to Luna's, she'll know what to do." said Harry.

Harry then went to the living room and flooed over to Luna's house. When he got there he saw it was still odd looking as ever.

"Luna are you here?" called Harry.

"Oh Harry, it's you." said Luna's father. Xenophilius. "I'm sorry to tell you, but Luna's not here, she's at Diagon Alley with her friend Neville getting Ice cream in order to clear her head of Claire the night fury after crying about it all morning. Is there anything you need me to tell her?"

"No thank you Mr. Lovegood, I'll just go over to Ginny for help then, I'll see you later." said Harry walking out the door.

"Nice kid." said Xenophilius.

Harry then walked over to the Burrow, as it was over the hill. When he walked there Ron had surprised him.

"Gotcha!" Ron said to Harry "Where were you on the day of today? Don't play games with me mister!"

"Hey Ron, what are you doing?" asked harry.

"I'm just continuing my investigation on the great Claire caper!" said Ron.

"Um, did you find anything?" Harry asked nervously.

"To be honest no." said Ron, looking down in shame. When he looked up, he saw Harry running to the Burrow. "Don't worry, Harry! Ron's on the case! The truth will be revealed!"

"I have to see Ginny now, she'll know exactly what to do." said Harry.

When Harry got to the Burrow, he came in asking "Where Ginny/"

"Oh hello Harry," said Molly. "Ginny is in her room-"

"Thanks!" said Harry as he ran up to Ginny's room. When he got there he was like "Ginny, I need to talk to you!"

"Hello Harry, great to see you too." Ginny said, getting up to kiss Harry on the cheek. Both her and Harry Have been dating since the end his sixth year and of her fifth year. " Anyway, what do you want?"

"I need to talk to you about Claire, the Night Fury." said Harry.

"Oh that poor poor critter." said Ginny. "What kind of inconsiderate person would upset a Dragon?"

"Uh that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about, Ginny." said Harry. "You see I-"

"Why, when I find out who caused that poor Night Fury do much pain, no more Jiggery-pokery for him!" Ginny then held up a book and ripped it in half in front of Harry. "Now harry, what was it you wanted to say?" Ginny asked him. but Harry tied his best to speak but couldn't "Hey Harry, how come your all twitchy like that?"

"Twitchy? Twitchy? who's twitchy? I'm not twitch! Sorry Ginny I just forgot, I have to go clean the broom shed at my house.'' Harry said getting out of Ginny's

"I should probably get to my house by now." said Harry.

When Harry got downstairs he saw Molly getting ready to go outside.

"Hey Mrs. Weasley, can I use your floo?" asked Harry.

"Oh sorry Harry-dear, but I ran out of floo powder so I'm about to apparate to Diagon Alley to buy some more powder. If you want I can apparate you home if you want." said Molly.

"Yes please." said Harry.

Once Molly apparated Harry to Godric's hallow, she bid him farewell and apparated to Diagon Alley.

When Harry got to his house he was once again jumped by Run.

"Hey Harry!" Ron said making harry jump "This is it! All the clues are coming together. I followed these footprints right to this exact spot and then, right where you're standing, I found this bag of peanuts!" he held a bag of peanuts up to his face "I'm so close to solving the crime, I can almost taste."

 _LICK_

Ron was just licking a popsicle "Boy, crime fighting sure makes me hungry, and this popsicle hits the spot!"

"Okay, good luck with all that Ron, and, um I guess I'll see you later!" said Harry.

Harry then walked to his ghouse and saw Hermione there.

"Hey Harry, I was just coming for a visit." Hermione then looked at harry nervous face "You don't look to good."

"I'm fine Hermione, God." snapped Harry "Sorry, it's just stress. Let's go."

"Harry you can tell me anything." said Hermione.

"I can't hide it anymore" Harry broke down "I was the one who upset Claire, I threw the peanut at her."

"Oh harry, why didn't you say anything?" Hermione asked while giving harry a hug "I didn't want you guys to hate me."

"I could never hate you harry, your my Best friend, my BFF, I love you as a brother. But just a brother, so don't start getting ideas," Hermione then said "why don't we go tell your parents and see what they can do."

When Harry and Hermione got to Harry's house, they saw Sirius bike outside.

"Oh good, Sirius must be here, He can help me." said Harry

When Harry and Hermione got inside they saw that Sirius wasn't there, but it was his cousin, Nymphadora Tonks.

"Tonks what brings you here, and where's Sirius/" asked Harry.

"I borrowed his bike to get here, but I have a few questions for you." said Tonks. "James, Lily, could you give us some alone time?"

"Sure" said James.

Tonks then turned to Harry, looked at him sternly and said "Were you at the Zoo the day of the Dragon incident?"

"Y-yes!"

"Did you, or did you not take part in various activities of zoo-time merriment?"

"Y-yes!"

"Are you familiar with this peanut?" Tonks then got out a zip-lock bag with 'Exhibit A' written on it.

"Yes!" Harry said starting to whimper.

"Just one more question... is it true that you were at the Dragon's lair with a Mr. Ronald Weasley?" asked Tonks.

Harry then broke down once again "Yes! Yes! It's true! The Merriment, the peanut, the Weasley!"

"That's all I wanted to know, Harry. I'm gonna book him!" announced Tonks.

 _CLINK_

Tonks had placed hand cuffs on Ron Weasley.

"Wow, you're good Tonks. I'm the last person I would have suspected, but I was looking for me all the time! It's the perfect crime!" said Ron.

"Yeah, yeah, tell it the judge, Weasley!" said Tonks as she boarded Ron on the side car of the motorcycle and escorted him out.

"Oh no! Harry what are we going to do? Ron is way too sensitive ." cried Hermione. Hermione then summoned Harry's broom and both of them flew off after Tonks.

"Tonks! Wait! Stop! I'm the one you want! I am the criminal!" Harry shouted at Tonks flying on Sirius' motorcycle.

 **HPHPHP**

At the Zoo, Ron was standing on a large wooden, and his arms were on chains at the Night wing stadium. Ron was next to a still crying Claire, and the entire crowed of people were booing at Ron.

"Hey everyone, let's start throwing peanuts at him and see how he likes it!" said one of the crowd members.

Everyone agreed and started throwing peanuts at Ron.

"I get what I deserve!" Ron said while attempting to catch the peanuts with his mouth . "Ouch!"

Just then Harry and Hermione ran in the stadium and up to Ron.

"Wait! Hold your peanuts! Ron Weasley is innocent!" said Hermione.

Harry then went up and said "Hermione is right, I have come to reveal the truth! They say the truth and honesty will be rewarded with trust and forgiveness, I'm here to lay my cards on the table, to trim the branches of deception from the tree of life, to shave the unkempt sideburns from the face of truth! I..."

"Ay! Just get on with it!" said one of the members of the crowed.

"I am the one who threw the peanut! I know now that what I did is wrong. So I say, I am sorry Claire the Night Fury, I am sorry Ron, i am sorry my fellow wizards and witches.' said Harry.

"Hey! let's throw peanuts at all three of them!" said one of the crowd members.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione then braced themselves.

"Wait! Here's the real criminal!" said Bob the zoo worker as he held Draco Malfoy by his arm.

"Um, hello everyone." said Draco.

"I knew it!" said Ron as Tonks removed the chains from his arms.

"Draco Malfoy has stolen a very important item from Claire the Night Fury." Bod then got out a pearl and said "Behold! Claire's large pearl." Bob then walked up the Claire the Night fury and said "Here you go Claire." he then placed the Pearl next to Claire.

Claire then sniffs the pearl and the crowd cheers, but suddenly, the pearl starts to crack. And to everyone's amazement, it hatches into a baby Night Fury.

"Aw, how cute, Claire was a mother! And the Pearls no pearl, it's an egg!" said Hermione.

"I don't get it." said Harry.

"Night Fury eggs look like large pearls, Harry." said Ron.

The baby night fury then snuggled up to it's mother.

"Awww..." said everyone in the crowed. The crowed then glared at Draco.

"But it was free day." Draco said in defense.

Everyone starts booing and throwing peanuts at him.

"Well, Ron, sorry for arresting you again." said Tonks.

"It's cool, after all, it wasn't like last you arrested me so I forgive." said Ron.

"Come guys, let's go to my house.' said Harry. "I'm sure Mum might be cool with more guests for dinner.'

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Tonks went to Harry's home!

 **The End!**

 **Well I hope you guys liked it! I will see you in another one shot people. Also please leave a comment.**


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